Hello ALL:
I know that it's been quite a while since I have posted anything. Several of you have been asking, [When] will my next post be ... WELL, HERE WE GO :o)
To be quite honest with you, I was in the process of writing a post on yesterday and was interrupted by a conversation with a few young people ((teens/young adults)). There were several questions that was asked of me followed by a few statements. I would like to share a portion of that conversation with my readers. As I share the question(s) that was posed to me, I ask that you give your honest opinion, share your thoughts, scriptures, etc. After I read your comments, I will then share with you all, What My Response was to these questions.
"How do you control or Can you control WHO you LOVE or fall INlove with?"
"Even if the person is Married, Doesn't GOD understand that you LOVE this person?"
"Why is it a SIN to LOVE someone that the "church" says that you shouldn't love?"
The conversation got a lil deeper and detailed and caused these questions to arise:
Example Given: A married man falls for a woman who is not his wife, they're not sleeping together, however, they share very intimate conversations by phone when the opportunity is there. ((What is so wrong with this, especially if they are NOT physically sleeping together?))
2nd Example: A woman falls in love with another woman, she's fully aware of what the Bible says about same-sex relationships, however, they're not sleeping together, but their feelings are quite strong for one another, and the time they spend together is innocent. ((What is so wrong with this, especially if there is no sexual contact?))
3rd Example: A woman was married, divorced her husband, moved on and married another man, they now have children, however, she realizes that she (still) has feelings for her first husband. Her Ex-husband wants her back, but although, she still loves him, she is very much in love with her New husband. But when she gets with her EX, they end up sleeping together. ((What is so wrong with this, After All, he is her FIRST husband?))
Ok, so now can you all understand, HOW my original post has been placed on (hold)? :o) I am grateful for young people who don't mind sharing what's on their minds. With all that's going on in the world and IN THE CHURCH, I can totally understand WHY they would ask such questions.
Like I stated, I will give MY THOUGHTS on this matter a little later on. In the meantime, please share YOUR thoughts. Everyone Be Blessed! :o)
woooooow Pastor Tee, these young people areasking questions that are very real issues in their lives or real in the lives of someone they know. The questions are poignant and can only be answered with the Truth of God's Word in order to protecor preserve their innocence. Songs of Solomon paints a fairly clearly picture of what God says about chastity, about pursuit, about holy relationships. And then of course, there are tons of scriptures in the book of Proverbs that make reference to the simple minded man and a woman who lures men to her door for sex. not graphic but pretty thorough as far as what results from promiscuity, adultery and the like. Remind the young people about the scripture that "Whatsoever God has joined together let NO man put asunder." When two people are are standing at an altar to be married, the bride and groom, first enchange vows with the officiant, who stands as the representative of God. So, in essence, the couple is marrying God first. Then they are told to turn, face each other and exchange vows again, but this time with each other. The union of marriage is actually between God, who is the head, husband, who is submitted to God and wife who is submitted to husband. Note that there are 3, a triune....a trinity. God DOES NOT PLAY when it comes to marriage vows because they are sacred to Him. If we go against this, we and ouchildren become accursed. I hope my thoughts based on scripture help. Let me know if I can be of service in anyway ever....Piph love da kids!! God bless you Pastor TEE!!
ReplyDeleteThese are honest questions that they deal with daily. Even for children raised in the church there needs to be a sobering realization that all that they have witnessed and heard in and out of the church has not been consistent with godly living, right and wrong and the definition of LOVE. As church leaders, Jesus followers we must be as honest with them as they are with us. We must be able to say what they may not want to hear in order to teach them biblical truth about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and the role played in our daily lives. As teens and young adults they are old enough to make decisions about their faith and it is our responsibility to arm them with the Word so that they can hear and believe.
ReplyDelete((( SENT VIA EMAIL )))
ReplyDeleteHi Tee,
Well I believe that love is a force that is not bound by people places or things. God is love and I believe that we are allowed to love people without limits. Yet I do believe that we must use wisdom when we allow our emotions to take us to a place of loving someone who is already married because the type of love they are giving someone else they will never give you.
We have some situations where people feel like yes they are married but they want to explore so they begin to share intimate love reserved for a spouse with someone else and now we have problems.
I think that people need to understand that God is love and that HE loves us so much that He wants to preserve our hearts for someone who will love us like he loves us. We have to use wisdom and not be deceived. Some people who say they love us really dont so we need to maximize loving ourselves.
When telling teens it can be kind of difficult because they are in a place of finding themselves and finding their love.
This is a very good topic and there are so many places you really could go with this. Ultimately, just answering the first question, love holds no bounds and you cannot help who you love.:)
Ellynne
((( SENT VIA TWITTER )))
ReplyDeleteOn Friday 1st October 2010, @MichaelJTFisher said:
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Ooo-wee!! Those are deep but here we go: 1) our heart loves what is familiar often times....it is our job not to become familiar with things that contradict the word...
2) One doesn't love another's spouse they lust after them...it is a form of greed (wanting what u shouldn't have) and
3) its not about what the church thinks...its about what the word says!! Whew!! Hopefully I gave insight...
Sheesh! I too agree with everyone else admitting these are very deep questions but I too have had some of the same ones.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I feel that, we all know that loving someone and being in love with some are two totally different things. We're to love one another, and yes it's so very easy to fall in love with someone even in situations as far as one of the individuals being married. When someone is married, and falls in love with someone else, they could have prevented that. Being when you're married you're to love your spouse and guard your heart so that your marriage won't be effected. However, things like this happen all the time. People start getting feelings at the beginning, and instead of them nipping it in the bud right then and there, they've let it escalate to something that could be fatal. If it's the other way around and a single person is in love with a married person, I feel that they're just trying to fill that void that only God can fill. When you feel yourself catching feelings for someone who is married, rebuke it, it's nothing but the enemy trying to destroy!
As far as two women who are in love but never sleep together, as a man(woman) thinketh in his heart so is he. Yeah they might just be friends, but in their hearts they're more than just friends. They're lovers..so that's wrong. They should never put themselves in a place where they will slip up. They know they are in love..if they're together long enough, something will happen.. Not of God!!
This marriage one is all wrong. First off, lol I feel as if once you're divorced, you shouldn't remarry until you're emotionally ready. Never open a door without officially closing the other. Everything will be so confusing and just a mess. It would be totally wrong for sleeping together with your ex husband since your married to someone else. That's adultery eventhough the feelings are still there.
<3 Bri (:
WOW....as I shared with you via TWITTER, let's make this is a topic for an upcoming radio show entitled TURNING THE TIDE - MATTERS OF THE HEART. Now the BLACK/WHITE response is that God honors marriage between a man and a woman. Other relationships are not recognized by God...there is no such thing as boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. :). The gray matter comes in when we allow ourselves to get emotionally attached to things and people. We all yearn for so many things and when we find "that thing", we feel a sense of security. That is why Solomon says we must guard our heart and ponder the path of our feet. We, as adults, must teach our young people how to navigate through relationships. Heck, it would do us grown up some good to take a course or two ourselves...LOL. Let's make the show happen!!
ReplyDeleteLove ya
Dr. Sims
These are all very good questions.
ReplyDeleteHow do you control who you are in love with? Honestly, I dont believe you can control who you love but I do feel like you can control what you do and dont do as it pertains to the actions followed behind loving a person. Make sense?? ok! Next lol
Even if the person is married, doesnt God understand that you love them?? Suuuure, he understands us better than we understands ourselves but does that make it right?? NO! They are married.If they want to "love on" someone else they need to be divorced. Marriage is sacred...a union between TWO people not THREE or more. It is not okay to have intimate phone conversations with a married person. Think about how you would feel if someone were having intimate convos with your mate....doesnt feel too good.If anything you should be encouraging them to work their marriage out, perhaps through seeking counseling & most definitely by communing with God..that should and would be the only reason I would be on the phone with someone elses man.
Why is it sin to love a person that the church says you shouldnt love?
Forget what the Church says...Its about what God/the Bible says...When you operate outside the will/plan of God...it WILL NOT PROSPER! It may look and feel good for a while, it may very well last also BUT that doesnt mean that your plan is lining up with Gods plan. I myself, was in a relationship for 3 years with someone I KNEW I was not supposed to be with but I loved him, I was in love with him. But my conviction was stronger than love. I KNEW that was not who God had for me. It got so bad to the point I was afraid to pray and ask God to show me if he was the one because I already knew if he showed me (which he was all along) He would show me that he was soooo far from the one, not even close! And ini the end...trying to fight it/HIM lead to my detriment. So, its no way around HIM (God)whether it be homosexuality, dealing with toxic friendships or a toxic and cold hearted man....If it aint God, it aint GOOD :-)
Ok... I'll try to address this as thorough as I can because I know eyes are really on this one... So let me start with the 1st question which was:
ReplyDelete"How do you control or Can you control WHO you LOVE or fall in love with?"
I think we must clearly define "love." Love from a metaphysical sense is broken up into 4 words each attached to something. Eros(where our English word Erotica is derived from) This love is of course strongly attached to physical/sexual attraction. Most of the people when we'see' them love isn't a factor, but something about them is what we love... the way they make us feel, how they deal with us...Eros is a very surface kind of love strongly attached to sight, perception, and lust...
While 'Storge' in the greek is used to define a love found in a familial bond...a blood is thicker than water kind of love.
'Philia' is what we call brotherly love, but not in the sense of a brother or sister, but in a compassionate sense... A love that causes us to help the hurting.
Lastly we in the Christian faith are well accustomed to 'Agape' the love in spite of kinda love...unconditional right?
Well as we're asking ourselves this question, "How can I control who I fall in love with?" we also have to ask "What is it that I love about them?" In asking that question we expose the true foundation of what our love is based on...because some love because no one would love them,some have a flawed definition of love therefore effecting WHO they love...some people embrace what they think is love and it turns into hate!
I say all that to say when you go back to the definition of what love really is at its foundation you will find the source of your love... Might I also add that I know that answer was somewhat deep and surface level, but love is a choice... You choose whether to look or stare, whether to stay or go, whether to love or leave...where the problem comes is SHOULD I, or SHOULDN'T I...